Judge Kevin Ross gave the best advice to a young lady. He said stop trying to find love and let love find you. This he said after a lady had interactions with someone internet dating for months and decided to wire him money for a plane ticket to come see her. I loved it when the judge told her he seemed like a decent person however if he did not have the money to come see you then wait for him to get the money to come see you.
This mentality goes along with what a lot of men feel who are old fashioned or raised with principles as I like to categorize them- they will pursue you if they want you. Men are hunters and if you take that away by making them your woman then you drastically alter the nature of the love interaction. This woman was a great example of how to ruin a relationship -sending him flowers and money for him to come see her along with love notes. She was pursuing him and she took an interaction that might have blossomed into something else and ruined it by acting with male energy in the relationship. A real man is not going to feel comfortable being your girl.
(I will elaborate on dating people on different levels in the future because many men have issues with women who make more money. This was revealed on the show when he shouted out: “she makes more money than I make/she’s the one with the money.” One must always be careful when someone makes jealous statements like that because jealousy often manifests itself in actions intended to hurt you.)
Dr. Phil says: “Take it from a guy: If you’re in love with somebody, you will swim the stream, you will climb the mountain, you will slay the dragon. You’re going to get to her somehow, some way.”
The craziest judge show situation I witnessed involved a 19 year old girl who was taking money from a family account paying for trips for her boyfriend, paid for a softball team for he and his friends, expensive watches, and other financial gifts. The parents didn’t even know she was doing this. The guys friends were in court laughing their butts off and I didn’t want to but their laughter concluded the truth – this man was cleaning up on her need for a relationship. What puzzled me –how could this mother not raise her daughter with better self-esteem so she could hear an alarm the first time he mentioned how he “didn’t have money to…..” and value herself more than that to fall for his hustle.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in love but let’s not be crazy. Your heart and your head should say full steam ahead on the right man. This does not happen overnight nor does this happen over a few dates or random conversations. Sometimes men are testing you too. Can I meet this woman and tell her everything she wants to hear and she’ll go all in and sleep with me, give me money, let me move in, or enter into a relationship with her? Sometimes your actions say a lot about your character which is being noticed? Some men are just looking to use someone else and their resources and no love is involved and they want to see if you think poorly of yourself, allowing them to do so.
What is this new age belief that women are supposed to support men? He says hello and a few words and you’re ready to move this man in, buy him a car, and give him the keys to your soul. I see it every day with these court shows. Women who look like fools going to court arguing over the furniture they bought, cell phones, and clothing they paid for claiming it was a loan. Pleezzee. How can you get water from a dry well? What does that mean? How can someone who was broke when you met them be in a position to pay you back anything?
A man who loves you will find a way to be the man of your heart. This is not displayed through words but through actions. If he is doing what he needs to do to further himself-that deserves respect. Keep in mind, however, a respectful man will never ask to lean on you financially or otherwise.
What do you call a man supported by a woman usually in return for his attentions?