Okay, if you have read three of my last four articles, you have probably noticed that the underlying theme in all of them has been one of “upfront, straightforward honesty” (which is why the title of my talk radio podcast program is entitled Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie and why the title of my second paperback is entitled Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking). Well, let us make that four out of the last five articles of mine.
I am going to take it upon myself to speak on behalf of both “The Elephant” and the “800 lb. Gorilla” in the room that have not been allowed to speak as of yet. Here we go . . .
I am not a fan of the concept known as ‘obligatory monogamy’ (known by some as “marriage”). Never have been, and never will be. I think the desire for monogamy in romantic and sexual relationships should be just as naturally desired as water when you are thirsty and food when you are hungry.
Many married couples in society are not naturally monogamous. A few are. The vast majority of married couples in society only attempt to present themselves as monogamous because they feel obligated to be by their disingenuous marriage vows. Some men and women only put on the public facade of being into monogamy to appear ‘normal’ and avoid criticism and scrutiny. C’mon people … marriage is on the verge of being a JOKE in the new millennium. Get real and wake up.
If former Arkansas college football coach Bobby Petrino was naturally monogamous with his wife, would he have attempted to “hide” an extramarital affair with his new, young, sexy female employee, Jessica Dorrell? I think not. There are also rumors that former Best Buy CEO Brian Dunn was engaging in “flirtatious interactions” with a female employee as well. Would this be news if these men were not married, and consequently, did not feel obligated to conduct themselves as ‘monogamous?’ (Before you start your whining and complaining against Yours Truly, read THIS and THIS first. Thank you)
Yes, when people read your obituary, it looks good for friends and acquaintances to see, “He leaves behind his loving wife of 42 years …” A comment like that only touches people’s hearts if the love and monogamy between the married couple was genuine though. If everyone at your funeral knows that you were a habitual adulterer, then it makes that line in your obituary laughable.
Guess what many men who want to present themselves publicly as ‘monogamy-minded gentleman’ have to do when they want to ‘sneak’ and have short-term, non-monogamous sex with women who they have no emotional feelings for: They have to pay for sexual companionship. At minimum, they have to pay for a lap dance.
You ever heard of a strip club nicknamed a “Pimp’s Club?” Nope. Prostitutes give pimps money. “Womanizer’s Club?” Nope. True players do not exchange financial favors for sexual companionship. “Gentlemen’s Club?” Yep. Gentleman, in this context, meaning “I will do everything possible to present myself to the general public as a well-mannered, well-spoken, intelligent man with good morals who will always do right by women … but privately, behind closed doors, I will get my kinky freak on in a way that will not cause shame or embarrassment to my wife / significant other, our families, and our children” (yes, long definition, I know). You have to pay to play when you want to publicly present yourself as a “wholesome, respectable gentleman,” when you are really a promiscuous ‘bad boy’ privately, unbeknownst to others.
Do you think that those U.S. Secret Service Agents are “bad guys?” More-than-likely, they are not. They love serving their country. They were just horny. Let’s keep it real. When you are on the road, and you get hungry, you order some food from room service, right? When you are on the road and you get thirsty, you go down to the bar in the hotel and order some drinks, right? When you are on the road, and you get horny …. you try to connect with some prostitutes and/or Call Girls from Cartagena de Indias … right? RIGHT? Uh oh. No response.
I do not particularly care for “hypothetical scenarios,” but will you please do me the small favor of indulging me in just this one fictional hypothetical scenario for a few moments? Please? Thank you. Here we go:
“USA Today, Newsweek, and CNN.com are reporting that Congress has unanimously voted to abolish the tradition of marriage and legal monogamy in 44 of the 50 states. Marriage will only remain legal in Alaska, Montana, Nevada, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wyoming. Those reported to be married in states like California, Florida, and New York will be arrested on the spot.”
What do you think would happen?
Would couples who reside in the forty-four “illegal states” who are deeply in love try to “sneak” and find a way to be married without the police finding out? Maybe … but I doubt it.
All women who have engaged in the role of the “mistress” would be out of business. Played out. (c’mon … what sexy mistress wants to live in Montana or Wyoming? No disrespect to those states of course). There would be no demand for them any longer. Soon to follow … the diminishing market prices and rates for street prostitutes, Call Girls, and Erotic Escorts.
The cheating husband with two cell phones … one for his wife, and one for his “women on the side?” Gone. No need for an iPhone and a Samsung Nexus Galaxy.
Potential challenges from female readers: “Alan, you are nuts. Insane. This ‘hypothetical scenario’ of yours is secular and shameful. You just want to give men a green light to have sex with as many women as their uncontrolled hormones desire. What about raising children with healthy attitudes about dating and relationships? Aren’t there enough single women raising children by themselves?”
Why would you want to be legally married to a man who wants to cheat on you? Why do you absolutely have to be married in order to maintain a monogamous relationship? Are you saying that being married and being genuinely monogamous are synonymous terms?
If men want to have sex with multiple women, let them do it. If they really want to do that, do you honestly think that documented “marriage vows” are going to stop them? Seriously? Or do you want a husband like former Lakers star and current NBA-on-TNT analyst Shaquille O’Neal who said in his book, Shaq Uncut, that he “cheated on his former wife in a ‘respectful’ manner.” (What does that really mean?)
What does your sex life, or the sex life of the father of your children, have to do with raising healthy, well adjusted children? I have known men who were womanizers to do an above-average to excellent job raising their sons and/or daughters. It is not impossible.
Potential challenges from male readers: “Alan, you are obviously disillusioned. I want that wedding ceremony. I want that ring on my wife’s finger. I do not want other men constantly approaching a woman who I am in love with, and making attempts to try to seduce her. Her wedding ring keeps those overly-aggressive types away. And besides … I would never want any of my daughters having sex with just random men when they are of adult age. I do not want my daughters to be perceived as ‘whores’ and ‘sluts’ by men. Your assertions and hypothetical scenario is crazy.”
So, married women with wedding rings never cheat on their husbands? (cue audio clip of hysterical laughter)
If this woman was truly in love with you, couldn’t she just tell every “overly-aggressive” man who approaches her that she is deeply in love with you?
A wedding ring can be a nice piece of jewelry, but at the end of the day, that is all it is. It has no “magical powers of monogamous influence.” Sorry.
So you still believe in the concept of shotgun weddings? So, would you be willing to ‘force’ your daughter to get married to a guy who has a reputation for being an incorrigible womanizer simply because he got your daughter pregnant? What about the fact that he had sex with your daughter’s maid of honor? Okay then. The NRA loves you boy!
Let me make it clear once again: I am not anti-monogamy. I am anti-OBLIGATORY monogamy. Disingenuous / phony / insincere monogamy simply does not work in the long-run. I have never seen it work in my lifetime. Lies, drama, cheating, and head games leave many men and women emotionally traumatized for life.
If you took one thousand random single heterosexual women and one thousand random single heterosexual men and put them on an island for nine-to-fifteen months, with all of their needs (food, shelter, clothing, etc) taken care of, and your only request was to have all of them leave the island as “1,000 monogamous couples,” do you think that would really happen? I mean, seriously? Not in a million years.
About 20-25 percent of the single men on that island would end up having sex with about 75-80% of the women. The remaining 75-80% of the men would be left competing for the attention of the remaining 20-25% of the less desirable women. Many of the women would probably start exploring their bi-curious fantasies. Same with some of the men. Violence would eventually break out due to romantic and sexual frustration. Dishonesty and head games would be rampant. Some of the more desirable women would ask to be compensated in exchange for having sex with the men they really do not want to have sex with.
Sound familiar? Sounds like real-life society right here, right now. I would bet money that as I write this article, there is a handsome, popular, successful bachelor with two male buddies who have similar appealing attributes like himself, and five or six beautiful, sexy women in his house on the beach. Soon, all of them will be having sex.
Somewhere across town is a guy who is not that handsome, not that popular, and not that successful watching a new porn DVD and masturbating while fantasizing about being multiple women. Another guy is having sex with a young, attractive female employee and lying to his wife about it. Some woman is having sex with her boss, or her husband’s boss, and lying to her husband about it.
Those scenarios above are not fictional hypothetical scenarios. Those scenarios are as real as life gets for many.
I say, if you are so crazy over a man or woman that you cannot even fathom the thought of having sex with anyone else, go ahead and get engaged and get married. I won’t be mad at you. I will not criticize you. That is, if you are truly “in love.” Your desire for a monogamous relationship is real and genuine. Matter of fact, READ THIS for extra inspiration.
Everyone else? Satisfy your horny desires. Women … quit trying to get paid to get laid. If you really like the guy, exchange orgasms with him for free. If you are not really attracted to him sexually, tell him that, and leave him alone. Also, quit ‘forcing’ men to become monogamous with you when you know deep-down these men have promiscuous, womanizing tendencies. No one wins in the long-run. Men … quit calling yourself a “pimp” and a “player” because you have a wife or girlfriend, and three or four women “on the side.” You are neither. You are a liar, a cheat, and a coward. You get no respect for that. If you really had cojones, each and every woman you are having sex with would have full knowledge that you are having sex with other women. Ask yourselves: Is losing my career and spending four and five figures on a woman really worth a few days or a few weeks of satisfying orgasms? I mean, really?
(A man wrote me this week, and said, “Alan, women want to be lied to. They really do. Women will only have (casual) sex with you if you lie to them. If you are honest, they won’t.” WTF? Do I want restaurants lying to me about the ingredients in my food? NO. You offer me “soy chicken wings,” I don’t want them!! Does that mean I want you to lie to me, and say the wings are made of ‘real 100% chicken’, but in reality they are genetically-engineered, soy-meat fake chicken? NO. Please go to GetAClue.com and tell them Alan Roger Currie referred you….)
For me, the only thing worse than remaining a bachelor my entire life would be to get married to a woman who will eventually end up cheating on me behind my back, or worse, I give in to the temptation of cheating on her on a weekly and/or monthly basis behind her back. I’d rather shoot myself in the head. (Okay, that was a wee bit melodramatic. Instead: “I’d rather go the rest of my life without eating chicken wings and drinking Peach Snapple.”)
My obituary? In the event that I never find my “soul mate” and get married, then I could care less if my obituary included a sentence that reads, “… and Currie, prior to his death, engaged in many enjoyable moments of sexual passion and pleasurable orgasms with the women he adored, and who adored him.”
And at the repast lunch or dinner, those in attendance would raise their glasses (with Peach Snapple in them, of course) and say, “That brother … Alan … kept it real. No phoniness or mincing words for him. He kept it real. God Bless his soul!”
And – before my “going home” ceremony takes place – I want it to be known that I offer a 25% discount on all of my paperbacks to all male members of the U.S. Secret Service. Same offer to you too Coach Petrino. Moooooooooooooooode Ooooooooooooone.
Wake up. Get real. Keep reading my articles. Have a good week.
Alan Roger Currie’s latest paperback, Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex is a combination of self-help, examples of erotically explicit dialogue that Currie has used in his real-life verbal seduction experiences with women, and social commentary on America’s judgmental and hypocritical attitudes toward polyamorous dating and kinky, casual promiscuous sex. For more information, visit http://www.modeone.net. Currie is currently organizing a weekend workshop to be held in Chicago, IL that will be geared toward single heterosexual men and based on the contents of his books; For more information, click here.