Note: This has nothing to do with hockey, so if you’re looking for expert analysis on how the Capitals 3rd line needs to refrain from playing dump-and-chase hockey tonight, look elsewhere.
Instead, we present to you pure, and unbridled reasoning why Boston sucks. It’s game seven, get a little mean Washington!
It follows that…
- If the song topic relates to ‘binge drinking’ there is a 99.8% chance it came from a Boston band. If you lived in Boston, you wouldn’t want to be sober either.
- The inspiration for ‘Dude looks like a lady,’ came from Steven Tyler looking in the mirror. (Aerosmith is from Boston, so it relates) We can certainly understand Tyler’s confusion in this area. The fact that most women from Boston look sexually ambiguous doesn’t help matters.
- The most widely received comment from those who failed their driving exam? ‘Hey idiot, you drove like a Masshole!’
- At least Yankees fans own up to the fact that they are the bad guys.
- ‘That’s wicked good chowda!’ Every time I hear a Boston accent, I secretly wish the British had won.
- If we told you this person was not representative of a wide percentage of Boston fans, we’d be lying. As the namesake of our fine city said, ‘We cannot tell a lie.’
Caps fans and yes Bruins fans, give us the reasons why you think Boston, or gasp, Washington sucks. (Yes, in the name of fairness, we here at Capitals Examiner want nothing short of allowing equal opportunity for haters on both sides. Bring on your best Marion Barry cracks Boston!)