I recently came to the conclusion that I’m a man. No, I’m not stating I was a transgender who recently accepted my male-hood. What I mean is that just recently I accepted I am a man with all its faults and benefits.
As a kid I fought the idea of being a male who thought with his penis and punched out my aggression. Growing up in the eighties my role models where David Hasselhoff, Mr. T and Bob Barker. It’s a wonder that I didn’t become a deranged psycho killer stabbing cats randomly. As a teenager my teenage angst turned me into a silent pain filled loner listening to Nirvana and Pearl Jam. Socially I was accepted(because I wasn’t involved with it) but internally I was very lonely. In my twenties I came out of my shell and became very social with the opposite sex but still crossed many bridges late due to not interacting more as a teenager. I had my first kiss when I was 20 and I lost my virginity soon after.
I accepted whatever society needed me to be. So I housed many conflict within myself about who I was and what I liked. I became a vegan, animal loving, compost turning, poetry writing hippie. And the girls loved it. So naturally I loved it. Now I’m 37, a father, and I am a person who loves to eat meat. I’m not a mechanic so I pay for my oil change. I’m not big on sports. I love good beer and I prefer to take a wilderness hike as opposed a walk in the park. In other words I’m finding myself and I’m not so hung up on what others need from me.
Same on relationships. Sorry I don’t date smokers, vegans are cool but don’t preach to me about eating meat and I have been known to curse from time to time. I am who I am. It took me 37 years to get here and even though I recognize my flaws, I embrace them. What does all this mean for my relationships? It means that I’m happy with what I can offer.
Its easier to offer someone something when you know the true value. Some people tend to become what the other person needs them to be and later as the relationship moves on their true feelings come out. The relationship ends and both people come out angry and disappointed. If you know what your worth, what your about then you can better offer the other person a stable happy relationship. And isn’t that what everybody wants?