So I was quite inaccurate about my meeting with Ron Jeremy. Promotional articles can be tricky when there’s a carrot dangling in front of your face. It’s quite unfortunate I wasn’t true to myself and my integrity. So, this is the accurate account of my interview with Ron Jeremy.
I waited patiently for Ron to arrive at Kwiker Liquor. The radio station was set up and ready with their tent. Where they found these radio station morons is beyond me, but you their lackadaisical demeanor was palpable. Maybe they knew what I was about to know. Ron Jeremy is mostly a shell of what used to be a porn star, running on autopilot fueled with something to keep him firing off with corny comments.
After being a team player listening to his cheesy, perverted jokes that had grown so thin they were transparent, I had my time to talk with Ron. I had already spoken to the owner of the company that made the rum to confirm the factual details of what I was covering. So, I wanted to ask Ron questions that may provoke an interesting answer. What I got was totally different. When I had asked what his one piece of advice he could give men would be, he started some rant that I wish I had taped. Something about the ‘discotech’ and slipping the DJ a tip to get a dance with the lady of your choice. Not sure if he knew what year it was. More so, where he was.
After a lot of senseless noise from Ron’s mouth, it doesn’t surprise me that he didn’t make a lick of sense. Lucky for him, he’s very recognizable and representative of a caricature that used to be famous. He’s undeniably famous, but why so famous? I’m sure he’s a great guy, he seemed it, but no doubt that he is a black dwarf, dwindling towards implosion. I’m sure he’ll get everything out of his last leg possible. He’s mostly made a career doing just that.