Much has been written about what successful people have in common: the 7 habits, the master keys, and on and on. People are endlessly fascinated with what makes successful people tick.
Now, how you define success is up to you. Personally, a comfortable income is important. And psych studies show that if you’re below a minimum threshold then yes, lack of money IS an obstacle to your happiness. However, once you’ve reached that threshold, the law of diminishing returns comes into play big time. More money does not mean more happiness; in fact, money is what is called a “dis-satisfier,” meaning that the more you have, the more you want. So, while a comfortable income is important to meet that threshold, after that the factors that determine happiness have more to do with social factors and a sense of purpose in life.
Cindy, you might be saying, that’s happiness. What does it have to do with success? Or resiliency?
I’m glad you asked. Success and happiness are very much tied together. In most people’s minds they’re very much the same thing. Resiliency has been identified as the personality trait most in common to people who self-identify as happy and successful. Why? What IS resiliency, anyway?
Resliency is the ability to bounce-back; to see problems as temporary, as over-come-able. The four key aspects of resilience are confidence, adaptability, social support networks and sense of purpose. So, a reslient person who loses their job will see it as a temporary setback, or even as an opportunity (“there’s something greater out there for me!”), while a person without reslience may more easily become depressed and be a ‘discouraged worker,’ giving up on themselves and the process. A reslient person is more confident in themselves, and sees the world as a basically safe and benign, or even friendly, place. They are more likely to share their feelings with close friends in their social networks, and in doing that they ‘vent off’ their feelings rather than bottling them up. Bottled feelings create anxiety, depression, and anger–definitely not characteristics of resiliency.
So, that is resiliency, and why it’s important and how it’s tied to success and happiness. How does all of this connect to hypnosis? Well, I hope by now it’s clear that resliency and the characteristics that go into it are traits that you want to have for yourself. And the fastest and easiest way to take on new traits and behaviors is through hypnotic modeling (aka future pacing, aka mental rehearsal, etc.). In his breakthrough psych research in the 1960’s, Bem discovered that, contrary to popular belief, people’s attitudes and beliefs change in response to changes in behavior. Up until then it was believed that you must change beliefs and attitudes FIRST, in order to create a change in behavior. Some people still believe this today. But it’s not so, and this is the scientific basis for the phrase “act as if.” If you want to become more resilient, act like you are resilient. The subconscious mind is the seat of all beliefs, so if you model your resilient behavior in hypnosis, the changes in belief and behavior will happen much more quickly.
So, here is to your resilence, your happiness, and your success!