If there were only two things that would make this generation’s vampire-romance craze less annoying, they would most certainly not be singing and dancing.
Though this seems like such an obvious fact that he must have known it, filmmaker Chris Nolan made “I Kissed a Vampire” anyway. The new musical threatens to suck not only your blood but also the life right out of you with atrocious acting, a paper-thin plot and songs that are bound to drive you absolutely batty.
In “I Kissed a Vampire,” which opens today exclusively at Harkins Arizona Mills 25 at Harkins Superstition Springs 25, Lucas Grabeel plays a teenager who, after discovering that he is transforming into a vampire, tries desperately to save himself and the girl he loves (Adrian Slade) from his powerful vamp mentor (Drew Seeley).
“I Kissed a Vampire’s” problems begin from the very first scene, which attempts to bring us up to date on the events that have transpired thus far despite the fact that the motion picture is not a sequel. Needless to say, it seems as though Nolan entered this story through the wrong door, starting in the middle of it when he should have started from the beginning.
Unfortunately, this chronological conflict does not mean that this nightmare is only half as long as it would have been otherwise and one must still endure the full extent of its torture. However, on the positive side of things, “I Kissed a Vampire” is so bad that it very well may finally put a stake in the heart of the aforementioned vampire-romance craze.
“I Kissed a Vampire” (NR – 91 minutes) opens today exclusively at Harkins Arizona Mills 25 at Harkins Superstition Springs 25. Visit FirstLook.com for specific showtimes.